My Ramadan Phase

life's second chance comes in the most random way, for me. I'm not sure if this is the second or probably the twentieth, perhaps the nth time ever, stumbling over the same mistake, again and again.

but I guess as long as you live in that same live, it's just what life is all about, repeating and repenting, until that very last repent leads to deciding to not delve into the same cycle or it is simply getting boring and boom! change!

which is, I don't know if I am there... yet. I particularly think I have a long way to go and reach that level of "being done with my own bs". when one random day you think you're there, the next second you're not; too overwhelmed thinking all at once so you go back to the familiarity, to the same, endless loop.

future me will read this entry and remember this phase. I might sound ridiculous now, but at least she would have something in store to either being cringe of this particular phase, or glad that she at least has had this phase.

anyway, it's Ramadan now. I think this is my biggest 'Ramadan phase' since a very long time, but I hope this is a good start of a something something next chapters in my life. truthfully, my soul is very chaotic and I have been falling into dunyawi traps in the name of peace. maybe this is my calling, though I am not sure what the future holds. if it is just a 'Ramadan phase' of this year, be it then.

Ramadan Kareem 2024.