Wise Words

'I need help on re-directioning,'

And for 47 days later, I was put in a state to self-reflect on how much I have done myself wrong, for letting myself drowning into my own chaotic mentally unstable state. I mean, can you really blame me for not knowing better? Being at a place for years could really do so much in stripping your reality and identity, you turn from someone with a core principle and a personality of being firm and stands your ground, blending into those you criticized for for time and time again. It's the sins of the people I have mocked, being a tragedy.

"Kita akan diuji dengan apa yang kita cakap,"

A friend's wise word hits me necessarily hard that day. That's the problem with us being human, we tend to forget. We forget that life is a karmic cycle. You do good, you get good- and the other way around. It did not took me long enough to understand what I did wrong in the first place, for judging people. It took me long to paddle myself back to a starting point. Square one. Having to drag yourself to square one is the moment you know you don't have any other way to deal with truth and knowledge of being so self-aware of the damages done to yourself, until you choose to simply just change. But I wasn't the one who chose, I was being put in a situation where that's the only choice I have.

Focus. Mindful. Being present and not giving two fucks of other's business that won't contribute anything to my personal growth and well-being.

And for those almost 50 days, I learnt more of myself than I did of others- that it is okay to not always be the highlight of everyone's lives, be mediocre in others' eyes, while be my own main character of being just a person who knows what I want and deal with it like any regular person would.

Honorable mention of a video crossed my TT FYP in highlights of mocking sins and it becoming a tragedy;

'Battle not with the monster, lest you become a monster. And if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes back at you' - Nietzsche.